没错,非谓语动词一定要看所关联的名词与其是主谓关系还是动宾关系.主谓=主动,动宾=被动.如：
I must have the work done. 因为还原顺序就是do the work, 动宾关系,所以要用被动形式.
I will have John do the work. 因为John与do是主谓关系,所以要用主动形式do.
I know the man sitting by the window. the man与sit是主谓关系,所以用主动形式.
I like the car driven by the beautiful girl. car与drive应为drive the car,是动宾关系,所以用被动形式.
老师与参考书上讲的意思是一样的,只不过说法或叫法不同而已.