总体来说,这篇文章的结构很清晰,第一段点题,点明文章主旨,不能仅有一句话,至少要有两句话；第二段、第三段用事实论证主旨；最后一段总结一下,即用另一种说法把主旨复述一下.这在六级作文中是比较占优势的,因此你在接下来的练习中也要按照这种格式来写.结构上唯一的缺陷就是你结尾并未明确提出自己的观点,你应该只能同意上述两个观点中的一个,那就是赞成ranking universities 还是反对.
另外,这篇的语言较平乏,虽然用了很多从句,但错误很多,另外,词汇量也不够,字数也有点少,接下来我简略谈一下这篇的词汇和语法：
1.which different individuals hold deferent views about,about是多余的,而且用一个从句指代不明,因此可改为,However,people's opinions vary from one to another/different individuals hold diferent views .
2.they believe,senior students know better which university is the best according to the rank of the universities,then to obtain the entrance admission to that universities provides them energy to study hard constantly.这句话顺序有点问题,可改为they believe that according to the rank of the universities senior students can know better which university is the best ,and then they will study hard constantly in order to obtain the entrance admission to that universities .
3.Others hold the opposite 这后面最好加个views
4.their opinion 应改为their opinions; scientific criterion 应改为 scientific criteria(criterion的复数）,因此作文中要注意单复数的问题.
5.mislead to an awareness of some universities中mislead是及物动词,后不可接介词,这句可改为mislead some students about the exact situations of some universities.
6.both the two views 应改为both of the two views .
7.It’s necessary to rank universities under the condition that rank universities in a scientific way.Only in this way can we expect a true benefit from ranking universities.这句话有点累赘,可改为 It’s necessary to rank universities under a scientific way,and only in this way can we expect a true benefit from ranking universities.
以上是我对这篇文章的一些建议,希望能够对你有所帮助.