雅思大作文修改 求分数.
many countries children engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people regard this as completely wrong,while others consider it as valuable work experience ,important for learning & taking responsibility.
作文如下:
In the present age ,it is generally arguable that whether should children be busy with some money-making jobs.Some people believe that this action is totally wrong while many others argue that paid work can afford work experience which is significant for study and taking obligations.As far as I am concerned,i am in favor of the former view.
There is no deny that the knowledge taught from schooling lay the foundation for the employment of the young students .Hence,children should concentrate on study firstly and mainly.Moreover,being engaged in some kind of part-time job may occupy their time for study.For instance,youngster may fall behind the others as a consequence of spending major time on paid work.Last but not the least,working in flexible society would emerge variety of possible problems.For example,some child labourers ask children to do some illegal works which could lead to serious physical and emotional hazards.
Admittedly ,valuable work experience is beneficial to youngster.The reason for this is that young students can learn how to take responsibilities and promote their adaptability.Even so,paid work may make the children to only concentrate on making money instead of study.Moreover,some youngster would like to step into society and leave off their study.
Overall,i would concede that paid work have some merits on enriching work experience and contributing to the ability to survive.Despite that,children that engaged in making money may cause many possible serious dangerous problems.In summary,i am convinced that government should make laws to regulate the market of child labour and monitor the children work in reasonable time.
人气:208 ℃ 时间:2020-03-30 11:44:54
解答
In the present age(开头最好不要这样写 模板太明显的话 一般都是5-5.5分) ,it is generally arguable that whether (should放到孩子们的后面 whether是从句这里不用倒装) children be busy with some money-making ...
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