不对,伴随状语的动作发出者(也叫逻辑主语.注意:不是动作对象)应该是句子的主语,而it 不能做conduct research的主语.
应该是:
It will help me to achieve my career goal:to be a scientist who conducts research in a national lab.(注:冒号也可改为破折号)
或者:It will help me to achieve my career goal:to be a scientist conducting research in a national lab.
或者:It will help me to achieve my career goal of becoming a scientist who conducts research in a national lab.
另外,非限定动词(不定式、分词等)都存在逻辑主语的问题.it will serve to achieve中to achieve的逻辑主语从结构上看应该是前面的代词it,但实际上应该是“我”,所以改为:It will help me to achieve