I have survived the quick death of my father and the slow death of my mother.While the end result of each death has been the loss of a parent,the journeys have been very different.My father's death,at the young age of 57,has been painfully long-lived with resolution coming slowly over 3 decades.My mother's recent death,at the age of 92,has come after many years during which I had the time to understand her better,fully love her,and learn all the life lessons she had to teach me.Let me contrast these 2 deaths,as my personal experiences may help you deal with your own parents' deaths as well as the deaths of your middle-aged and older patients.