I hear 不是过去时吗?没改成过去时啊.man 前面有two,要改成men.第二个句子应该改成and the other one called fork.killer要改成复数形式.can后面是加动词原形的,而且用destroy不恰当,用beat比较好.第四句有点别扭啊.我觉得If they're together ,they will be very strong 更好.So the government were very care about them?觉得怪怪的.这是贬义的吧.改成So the government were very concerned about them.如果没学过那个词组的话pay attention to也是可以的.第二段第一句knife askedfork to a place to talk.第三句their parents had been killed.第四They swore to kill the murderer.第三段莫名其妙,怎么又again了呢?改成from then on.第四段.Knife found the murderer who killed their parents.Heasked fork tokill the murderer with him immediately.But they were both famous killer,they could not stay together.其实我很郁闷著名跟不能在一起有什么关系.然后下段就让我吓到了.这叉子死得太突然了吧.算了.不扰乱你的行文.继续改Fork had been killed by the government.next day前要加the.下面.怎么又quickly了.删了吧.还有,我一直想说了.既然前面的刀子叉子没加the.这里就也别加了吧.When he was thinking about it,he heard a voice.It was the report of the gun.but when he looked into the house.It is because ofFork 's treachery.But no one know exactly.Actrally the governmentknew their action at first.At the another world.they won't be brother anymore.they will be personal enemies forever.纯手打.好累的.十一点多帮你改作文.多给点分吧.还有.这位小哥你读几年级啊?在哪里读?你老师说的还真不错.不过我看了半天不知道你这篇文章要表达什么.我只是改改语法错误.不管怎样.祝你学业有成啦.