可以看出你的英文水平还是比较高的.但是仍然有一些问题.首先,第一段你的句子太长了,就算是国外大学的论文都很少写这种一口气读不完的句子,建议你把第一句话断成两句,你这种从句中用从句的写法是不可取的.作文应该简洁明了,而不是秀从句,而且很容易出错.其中一些很小的语法错误我也帮你改了:Basically,the picture vividly portrays a scene that two persons are confused and startling about the words in the advertising board.The board,however,conveys another frightening meaning — sale of death bodies instead of normal goods.Apparently,the drawer is telling us the serious consequences of using words improperly and wrongly.
第二段里面for another one,其实只需要for another就可以了.后面do not give a sufficent focus on,这个用法很中式,地道用法是pay sufficient/enough attention to.我不是很理解你这里the code of the words的意思,我觉得你可以改成the meaning of the words可能更直接.后面的becomes to be这里明显重复了,直接用becomes就可以了.后面的trying to rethink,还是很中式,改成on my second thought比较地道.
第三段positive steps,改为positive actions,后面的extent你想表达的意思是程度水平,应该用level,cultural and educational level是正确的用法.后面used right or nor改成used correctly or not比较好.后面的atmosphere改成environment.我就找出这么多地方,你可以自己再多读几遍.这里的the code of the words 原想表达 文字规范 的含义,我在自学英语 备考,你帮我大忙了,感谢感谢,