My birthday was in July was改为is.
建议不要分那么多段
语法上面没有什么大错误,
但是结构可以修整
我不知道你是几年级的学生
以下是我对你作文的一些建议哈
我重新写了一篇
i plan to go for a visit to yunnan,in order to see my .grandmother and some other people who misses me a lot.As Kunming is the Spring City.I will go there by train with my family.
I’d like to visit Dali and some other( places of interest)用得好O(∩_∩)O.with a camera,a pair of sunglasses and so on
I want to celebrate it with my grandmother and old friends.since My birthday was in July ,I can not sure whether i"ll be late.
I think I will have a wonderful time这个我还没有学这么多，七年级。我就这样写应该可以把。。。谢谢你哈恩好吧 - -浪费了！！！不过你没有什么语法错误！楼上的 有点考虑得太细致了，你可以把作文拿给你老师看，应该说是没什么问题的