My hometown is Rizhao City,Shandong Province,a beautiful city by the seaside.I've been here for almost 20 years.I love my hometown very much while looking forward to future adventures in the distance.
I've been curious about the blue sky since I was a little boy.I always dreamed to fly a plane up to the sky,far above the ground,close to the clouds,looking down at the marvelous mountains and rivers.
Today I have got an opportunity to make this dream my lifelong career,that is,to become a pilot in Shenzhen Airlines.I know this is not easy.I still have a long way to go before I'm a real pilot but I would love to go all out for this goal.that is = that is to say，是个常用表达法，意思是“即，也就是说，”解释前面的某个词。
所以在这里的正确的。相当于：
Today I have got an opportunity to make this dream my lifelong career, that is to say, I have got an opportunity to become a pilot in Shenzhen Airlines.make something something让某事成为某事
这里的dream是名词
make this dream my lifelong career。让这个梦想成为我的终身职业。不用加become

He made me an idiot.
他让我成了个傻子（就是他让我显得很愚蠢）。

They made the country a great place to live in.
他们让这个国家成为一个非常适合生活的地方。后加的那段英语基本上合格，适当调整一下可以更地道：
Good morning. I'm excited but also a bit nervous as well to be here for this interview. （我兴奋但却有点小小的紧张。这种描述很真实。比你干巴巴说一句人人都会说的I'm glad to be here要有特点。并且这样的开场白会让面试官会心一笑。如果你真的紧张，他们反而会安慰你。所以这种说法很讨巧。能帮你一开始就获得好感）。那句let me introduce myself实在是纯属废话，可以省略。My name is Ma Ji. I'm 22 years old.I graduated from ... in July 2014.

There are three people in my family, my father, my mother and me. （后面我是独生子就不用提了。三口之家，很明显我是独生子）。We love each other very much. My father is running a stone factory. 后面那句话my mother stay inside all the time是病句。如果你要说我妈妈全职在家呆着。应该是My mother is a full-time housewife. We live happily together.（这句话比你I have a very happy family要地道。童话里，都是说，从此，王子和公主幸福滴生活在一起。They live happily together）