除去很多键盘误敲出的拼写错误
文中还有不少直观的拼写和语法错误
例如
1.exsist(exist)
2.new-developed(newly developed)
3.backdraw(drawback)
4.when a new car is developed, an old generation will retire and that makes up a part of solid rubbish(对比前后的被动和主动以及名词最好一致 到底想说car还是generation)
5.but a few of the many that illustrate the cases(完全看不懂 另外这里只讨论一个问题,case必须单数)
6.There we will no more be controled by the machines,where I can be a real human(你想说Therefore吗?这里where用的实在不好)
7.some young people have already forgotten how to make fire and how to wash clothes, thanks to the cooker and the washing machine(当thanks to表示由于...的原因时必须放句子前面)
8.boast(boost)
最后对文章总体提点意见
1.段落层次不分明
2.主语最好一致 前面说I就一路I下去 不要I和we混用
3.最好给出具体例子 比如某某(一定要给出名字)由于过度依赖现代科技(写出依赖哪种具体科技)而自食其果(怎么样的悲惨后果,雅思作文忌讳只讲道理不给事例
我个人给5分 此文在实际考试中可得的分数会在4.5-5.5分波动