in surprise 表示“惊奇地”意思,可作状语或表语.
例如：I was in surprise when she told me that she was an orphan.
当她告诉我她是孤儿,我感到诧异.
with surprise 表示“带着惊讶地,面带惊讶地”,只作状语.
例如：Emma looked at it with surprise.艾玛面带惊讶地看着它.
by surprise 只作状语,表示“冷不防地”,常与take,get,seize等动作连用.
例如：The policeman took the thief by surprise as he opened the window.警察趁小偷打开窗户时,出其不意地把他逮住了.
希望简略的辨别对你有帮助.