初二的学生能写出这样的作文已经很了不起了.字数没有必要删减了.我提几点建议吧.
is coming=is around the corner
are traveling around 虽然可以表示将要做什么.不过我们一般用be going to 句型.可以说：are planning to travel outside or are going to travel around.
每一段开头都用be going to 有些单调.
可以这样写：
First of all,I give my sduty top priority.(把学习放在第一位）……
Besize,I think it is also quite valuable to spend my holiday time on some housework.……
Finally,I am going to spare some time to do physical exercise,which can help build my body and I can also find a lot of fun in the process.